"A" and I recently had our immigration interview. Of course we passed and he now holds a green card. This allows us to travel but we still aren't sure to what extent. For the weeks leading up to the interview though, it was all about preparation. "How much preparation do you need if you live together?" I was asked this exact question and to answer nicely- I put more into this than I did into prepping for ACT in High School. This was supposed to be a 30 minute grill on the other person. We were going to be separated and our answers compared, so we better know everything. The stories we'd been told by friends who have done this before were crazy. One guy had to take his wedding ring off to make sure there was an indentation. The possible questions are outrageous and ridiculous! I wasn't so much afraid of my diplomatic answers that came out of my mouth. I can do diplomacy there. My face however does not do diplomacy and I am not responsible for the response that happens there. I'll leave out the ones that were too personal to ask (fave sexual positions, the last time intercourse took place and when was your wife's last period). But here are only 25 possibilities out of 14 pages of options. Check them out. Could you pass?
1. What is your spouse's favorite color?
2. How did you meet?
3. Who approached/kissed who first?
4. Who said I love you first?
5. Where did you go for your first date?
6. Who proposed? How?
7. What is your spouse's favorite meal?
8. What's something you cook that your spouse dislikes?
9. What time does your spouse wake up in the morning?
10. What size underwear does your spouse wear?
11. How does your spouse like their coffee?
12. Does your spouse have a boss? What's their name?
13. What's your spouse's best friend's name?
14. What hobby(ies) do they have?
15. Does your spouse have any scars? Where? What are they from?
16. What color is your spouse's toothbrush?
17. What toothpaste do they use?
18. Do they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube or one of the ends?
19. Where is the spare toilet paper located in the house?
20. Does your spouse put the toilet paper with the paper unrolling from the top or bottom?
21. What were some of their hobbies/activities throughout school?
22. When was your last argument? What was it over?
23. What is a gift your spouse got you for your last birthday/Christmas?
24. What day is the trash collected at your house?
25. What is the name of the restaurant you and your spouse order takeout from most often?
Now, keep in mind that if you're separated, all your answers have to be the same. Ask your spouse the same questions. How'd y'all do? Did you pass?
The morning of the interview started super early for us. We had to be at the immigration office by 7 AM, over an hour drive away. We had to be dressed as if we were attending an interview. Have you seen my hair? That takes TIME. I am not a morning person and if you talk to me before 7:45 and you're not paying me to respond, you're going to be flipped the bird and told to F off. Also, I'll be late to my own funeral, let's be honest so the odds were, in fact, NOT ever in our favor for this. The morning was full of stress and God love this man but "A"'s intense already and his stress was enough for the both of us. I had to be the calm, rational, Peppy Patsy the cheerleader all morning. You know that thing about balancing the other one out and being what the other one needs in a time of crisis? Thank God acting was a strong suit in High School because I had to rely on that SERIOUS throw back like my life depended on it. Somebody give me a freaking Academy Award already!
We got there with 3 minutes to spare, went through security, and got checked in. There were two men that came out carrying files. One was a very large, bald man who looked like he might have a side job wrestling The Rock just for fun. The other looked like the evil spawn of Squidward off Spongebob Square Pants. Tall, skinny, bald, and clearly hates every. single. minute of his life. It's only 7 AM. I'm not that excited to be awake either but c'mon man, it's way too early for you to be contagiously infecting the world with your negativity and angry vibes. Sidenote: in a jam, a quick prayer to the man upstairs that this NOT be our interviewer helps tremendously.
Prayer answered. Stone Cold Steve Austin's brother called us back to his office to be put under oath. Then he opened our file. Hand to God y'all, this thing was at least 8" thick and had every paper we'd ever submitted in it. Yikes. Thought: I put together that much freaking paper work and submitted it? Damn! I should be getting paid enough to make it rain in Jimmy Choos! So he starts going through it, asking regular questions like address, phone number, blah blah. No biggie. Then he says he asks me if I'd met "A"'s parents, what that was like, what it was like for me to go to Egypt; tells us he was in the military and traveled a little with that and he'd also traveled more with mission trips than he ever did with the military. We talk about our travels and he asks me about Meade. I tell him it's a small town, he tells me about a girl he used to date that was from a small town and before I knew it we were sharing a cup of tea over pictures of our little ones, discussing the latest gossip and getting each other's advice on window treatments. Ok, not quite but we did chat it up pretty good and after an hour of that, one interruption from the secretary informing him that his next clients were waiting, and a solid kick in the ankle to shut the hell up and stop making friends here from "A" (who clearly just had a major case of FOMO), we were done. That was it. Nothing personal, nothing we couldn't handle; because I am my mother's child whom you cannot take anywhere without knowing someone or making new friends, we walked out feeling like this guy was the nicest man on the planet. And as a bonus, a bag full of new stories about people they see in their office. MS 13 gang member? Saw one of those guys who was a minor the week before, applying for a green card. Nope. Sorry buddy, door number 3 says you get De-por-ted with an escort and a party favor post-it that says Make Better Choices.
Because we live in Kansas and the pool of immigrants isn't exactly what you'd call overflowing, we got his green card the next Monday. "A" swears it has nothing to do with the system and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that our interviewer is my new BFF. I say it's just one more bonus of living in Kansas and being friendly. Had we stayed in DFW, this situation may have been completely different. Or maybe not. Either way, we're grateful things ended on a positive note, "A" is here for good and now we just collect bills and "evidence of having a life together" for the next 2 years and do it all again! YAY!
1. What is your spouse's favorite color?
2. How did you meet?
3. Who approached/kissed who first?
4. Who said I love you first?
5. Where did you go for your first date?
6. Who proposed? How?
7. What is your spouse's favorite meal?
8. What's something you cook that your spouse dislikes?
9. What time does your spouse wake up in the morning?
10. What size underwear does your spouse wear?
11. How does your spouse like their coffee?
12. Does your spouse have a boss? What's their name?
13. What's your spouse's best friend's name?
14. What hobby(ies) do they have?
15. Does your spouse have any scars? Where? What are they from?
16. What color is your spouse's toothbrush?
17. What toothpaste do they use?
18. Do they squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube or one of the ends?
19. Where is the spare toilet paper located in the house?
20. Does your spouse put the toilet paper with the paper unrolling from the top or bottom?
21. What were some of their hobbies/activities throughout school?
22. When was your last argument? What was it over?
23. What is a gift your spouse got you for your last birthday/Christmas?
24. What day is the trash collected at your house?
25. What is the name of the restaurant you and your spouse order takeout from most often?
Now, keep in mind that if you're separated, all your answers have to be the same. Ask your spouse the same questions. How'd y'all do? Did you pass?
The morning of the interview started super early for us. We had to be at the immigration office by 7 AM, over an hour drive away. We had to be dressed as if we were attending an interview. Have you seen my hair? That takes TIME. I am not a morning person and if you talk to me before 7:45 and you're not paying me to respond, you're going to be flipped the bird and told to F off. Also, I'll be late to my own funeral, let's be honest so the odds were, in fact, NOT ever in our favor for this. The morning was full of stress and God love this man but "A"'s intense already and his stress was enough for the both of us. I had to be the calm, rational, Peppy Patsy the cheerleader all morning. You know that thing about balancing the other one out and being what the other one needs in a time of crisis? Thank God acting was a strong suit in High School because I had to rely on that SERIOUS throw back like my life depended on it. Somebody give me a freaking Academy Award already!
We got there with 3 minutes to spare, went through security, and got checked in. There were two men that came out carrying files. One was a very large, bald man who looked like he might have a side job wrestling The Rock just for fun. The other looked like the evil spawn of Squidward off Spongebob Square Pants. Tall, skinny, bald, and clearly hates every. single. minute of his life. It's only 7 AM. I'm not that excited to be awake either but c'mon man, it's way too early for you to be contagiously infecting the world with your negativity and angry vibes. Sidenote: in a jam, a quick prayer to the man upstairs that this NOT be our interviewer helps tremendously.
Prayer answered. Stone Cold Steve Austin's brother called us back to his office to be put under oath. Then he opened our file. Hand to God y'all, this thing was at least 8" thick and had every paper we'd ever submitted in it. Yikes. Thought: I put together that much freaking paper work and submitted it? Damn! I should be getting paid enough to make it rain in Jimmy Choos! So he starts going through it, asking regular questions like address, phone number, blah blah. No biggie. Then he says he asks me if I'd met "A"'s parents, what that was like, what it was like for me to go to Egypt; tells us he was in the military and traveled a little with that and he'd also traveled more with mission trips than he ever did with the military. We talk about our travels and he asks me about Meade. I tell him it's a small town, he tells me about a girl he used to date that was from a small town and before I knew it we were sharing a cup of tea over pictures of our little ones, discussing the latest gossip and getting each other's advice on window treatments. Ok, not quite but we did chat it up pretty good and after an hour of that, one interruption from the secretary informing him that his next clients were waiting, and a solid kick in the ankle to shut the hell up and stop making friends here from "A" (who clearly just had a major case of FOMO), we were done. That was it. Nothing personal, nothing we couldn't handle; because I am my mother's child whom you cannot take anywhere without knowing someone or making new friends, we walked out feeling like this guy was the nicest man on the planet. And as a bonus, a bag full of new stories about people they see in their office. MS 13 gang member? Saw one of those guys who was a minor the week before, applying for a green card. Nope. Sorry buddy, door number 3 says you get De-por-ted with an escort and a party favor post-it that says Make Better Choices.
Because we live in Kansas and the pool of immigrants isn't exactly what you'd call overflowing, we got his green card the next Monday. "A" swears it has nothing to do with the system and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that our interviewer is my new BFF. I say it's just one more bonus of living in Kansas and being friendly. Had we stayed in DFW, this situation may have been completely different. Or maybe not. Either way, we're grateful things ended on a positive note, "A" is here for good and now we just collect bills and "evidence of having a life together" for the next 2 years and do it all again! YAY!
Kam, you’re awesome. So, so thrilled for you and A, and may the next 2 years bring lots of life, love and Prep for next sesh. ❤️
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lisa! The next sesh won't be NEAR as intense, just a formality mostly. The "plan" is to walk in about 6 months pregnant and not even have to talk. Just walk in, have them look at me and say "Oh. You're good." ;) Lord knows, with my life, that won't happen. at all.
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