I'd like to say Summer was great to me. For the most part, it was ok but there were some serious lessons learned in the past few months.
1. Summer bucket lists should be well thought out. My child wasn't even with me for half the summer as he goes to his bio-Dad's and my parent's farm for a lot of it. So when he created a summer bucket list that was longer than Santa's list of names, I pretty much knew we were setting ourselves up for failure.
2. "A" started his dream job as a pilot for Republic Airlines in July. If you fly anywhere in North America or Brazil on United, American or Delta, chances are you're flying on a Republic flight. Check your ticket stub and if it says Embraer under your flight number, it's a Republic flight. Training has been stressful for all and he has studied more in the past 3 months than I did in an entire 5 years and 9 majors of college. Yes, I changed my major 9 times- 5 officially, 4 others unofficially. The lesson in this was patience. I'm not claiming to have mastered it but I no longer have an F- either.
3. Roadtrips to DFW with an 8 year old will provide 2 fold. Deep conversations involving reflection and ultimate decisions that involve cutting cords with family members at the age of 8 that I honestly saw coming but wasn't expecting to happen until he was about 12 or 13. My kid is wise beyond his years. He is also able to recognize a tornado on the ground that I also did not see coming. I came home and got my eyes checked. I'm good.
4. Conversations regarding who will and will NOT be invited to birthday parties need to be repeated daily the week of and before the actual party. My sweet boy turned 9 on Sunday and God Bless his pea pickin heart, he just wants everyone to feel included. However, this involved literally getting in front of his entire class and announcing the party details and then saying YOU'RE ALL INVITED! Calm down, Oprah. Some things need to be discussed with Mom first. I only learned of this fact because THREE different moms hit me up about it at a PTA event the night before the party.
5 As a mother, if your kid comes home saying he was invited to a party but doesn't have an actual invitation- just tell the kid you have plans already because there is no way on God's green earth that mama knows of her child's "generous inclusion" and upon hearing it- she will go home and drink an entire bottle of wine while analyzing the possible ways to prep for another 9 kids at 10:00 PM, when the party starts in 12 hours. After stressfully prepping this, those 9 little jackwagons won't even show up.
6 RSVPs to birthday parties used to be mandatory common sense and manners but unfortunately are now an oversight and a convenience. "A" is gone 20 days a month. This involved him being gone before the party but was supposed to be home the day of. Well that didn't happen because you know...pilot. So I ended up planning, prepping and executing the entire thing, by. my. self. I was a single mom for 5 years and am basically a single mom with a second income now so of course, it turned out fine but you know, when people don't RSVP and you have no idea if all 17 kids from the Oprah show and everyone else you've invited are coming or not, will you have enough food? Will you have enough plates, napkins, things for people to do? Places to sit? You know...normal planning things. Hard to be a good entertainer when you don't know how many you're going to be entertaining.
7 Substitute teaching, teaching Chinese children English AND working a side gig for 25+ hours a week when you're also the only child taxi and have no full time daycare is basically the most terrible idea ever.
8. Also the most terrible idea ever- letting your 9 year old play two sports in one season because of course the practices are going to be on the same night, as are the games so you know- work all day, come home at 5, have kid to soccer by 5:30, football 15 minutes late for drive time and done at 8, home, shower off the stench and in bed for the kid by 9. The things coming out of your mouth at this point are not nice, not positive and completely negate all the affirmations you told yourself in the mirror earlier that morning while singing along with Britney and psyching yourself up.
9. Having your husband gone for 20 days straight sucks. Straight up. It's hard. Stressful. Lonely. A struggle that few have the strength to endure. No communication is enough and no amount of "Dad's working. I'm sorry he couldn't call during the hours you were home/awake today, buddy" will suffice.
10. When he comes home, it's all the feels and a LOT of chaos. Routines are disrupted. Plans are changed. The "ordinary" takes another level of getting used to and adjustment. It's frustrating to get used to the change when you've only just adjusted to him leaving. And just when you've adjusted to him being home, he's gone again.
11. I am strong as a damn ox. I have a resilience I didn't even realize when I was a single mom. I can multi-task like I have 8 legs and 3 brains. I am making time for self-care because it's the only thing that keeps me sane. I can say NO because if I don't, I will combust. So if I tell you NO, it's genuinely because I quite literally just cannot add one more thing to my plate. Don't take it personally. I am a fantastic taxi, accountant, nurse, support system, and whatever other title you throw at me. I can give a motivational speech like I am Tony freakin Robbins and do it with gusto. I can drive this bus without the wheels falling off and do it like a BOSS.
12. I am not alone in this fight. Pilot wives. Military wives. Shift-worker wives. So. Many. Wives and even some husbands do this exact same thing and to you all, I say Job Well Done! You are amazing. You are important. You are incredible and you are loved. I also say, YOU are not alone. It takes a village and a strength to overcome a pressure that most would crumble under. But not you. Not us. Because we are BAMFs and we are doing all the things. Some days are better than others but...
13. Done is better than Perfect.
1. Summer bucket lists should be well thought out. My child wasn't even with me for half the summer as he goes to his bio-Dad's and my parent's farm for a lot of it. So when he created a summer bucket list that was longer than Santa's list of names, I pretty much knew we were setting ourselves up for failure.
2. "A" started his dream job as a pilot for Republic Airlines in July. If you fly anywhere in North America or Brazil on United, American or Delta, chances are you're flying on a Republic flight. Check your ticket stub and if it says Embraer under your flight number, it's a Republic flight. Training has been stressful for all and he has studied more in the past 3 months than I did in an entire 5 years and 9 majors of college. Yes, I changed my major 9 times- 5 officially, 4 others unofficially. The lesson in this was patience. I'm not claiming to have mastered it but I no longer have an F- either.
3. Roadtrips to DFW with an 8 year old will provide 2 fold. Deep conversations involving reflection and ultimate decisions that involve cutting cords with family members at the age of 8 that I honestly saw coming but wasn't expecting to happen until he was about 12 or 13. My kid is wise beyond his years. He is also able to recognize a tornado on the ground that I also did not see coming. I came home and got my eyes checked. I'm good.
4. Conversations regarding who will and will NOT be invited to birthday parties need to be repeated daily the week of and before the actual party. My sweet boy turned 9 on Sunday and God Bless his pea pickin heart, he just wants everyone to feel included. However, this involved literally getting in front of his entire class and announcing the party details and then saying YOU'RE ALL INVITED! Calm down, Oprah. Some things need to be discussed with Mom first. I only learned of this fact because THREE different moms hit me up about it at a PTA event the night before the party.
5 As a mother, if your kid comes home saying he was invited to a party but doesn't have an actual invitation- just tell the kid you have plans already because there is no way on God's green earth that mama knows of her child's "generous inclusion" and upon hearing it- she will go home and drink an entire bottle of wine while analyzing the possible ways to prep for another 9 kids at 10:00 PM, when the party starts in 12 hours. After stressfully prepping this, those 9 little jackwagons won't even show up.
6 RSVPs to birthday parties used to be mandatory common sense and manners but unfortunately are now an oversight and a convenience. "A" is gone 20 days a month. This involved him being gone before the party but was supposed to be home the day of. Well that didn't happen because you know...pilot. So I ended up planning, prepping and executing the entire thing, by. my. self. I was a single mom for 5 years and am basically a single mom with a second income now so of course, it turned out fine but you know, when people don't RSVP and you have no idea if all 17 kids from the Oprah show and everyone else you've invited are coming or not, will you have enough food? Will you have enough plates, napkins, things for people to do? Places to sit? You know...normal planning things. Hard to be a good entertainer when you don't know how many you're going to be entertaining.
7 Substitute teaching, teaching Chinese children English AND working a side gig for 25+ hours a week when you're also the only child taxi and have no full time daycare is basically the most terrible idea ever.
8. Also the most terrible idea ever- letting your 9 year old play two sports in one season because of course the practices are going to be on the same night, as are the games so you know- work all day, come home at 5, have kid to soccer by 5:30, football 15 minutes late for drive time and done at 8, home, shower off the stench and in bed for the kid by 9. The things coming out of your mouth at this point are not nice, not positive and completely negate all the affirmations you told yourself in the mirror earlier that morning while singing along with Britney and psyching yourself up.
9. Having your husband gone for 20 days straight sucks. Straight up. It's hard. Stressful. Lonely. A struggle that few have the strength to endure. No communication is enough and no amount of "Dad's working. I'm sorry he couldn't call during the hours you were home/awake today, buddy" will suffice.
10. When he comes home, it's all the feels and a LOT of chaos. Routines are disrupted. Plans are changed. The "ordinary" takes another level of getting used to and adjustment. It's frustrating to get used to the change when you've only just adjusted to him leaving. And just when you've adjusted to him being home, he's gone again.
11. I am strong as a damn ox. I have a resilience I didn't even realize when I was a single mom. I can multi-task like I have 8 legs and 3 brains. I am making time for self-care because it's the only thing that keeps me sane. I can say NO because if I don't, I will combust. So if I tell you NO, it's genuinely because I quite literally just cannot add one more thing to my plate. Don't take it personally. I am a fantastic taxi, accountant, nurse, support system, and whatever other title you throw at me. I can give a motivational speech like I am Tony freakin Robbins and do it with gusto. I can drive this bus without the wheels falling off and do it like a BOSS.
12. I am not alone in this fight. Pilot wives. Military wives. Shift-worker wives. So. Many. Wives and even some husbands do this exact same thing and to you all, I say Job Well Done! You are amazing. You are important. You are incredible and you are loved. I also say, YOU are not alone. It takes a village and a strength to overcome a pressure that most would crumble under. But not you. Not us. Because we are BAMFs and we are doing all the things. Some days are better than others but...
13. Done is better than Perfect.
Comments
Post a Comment