Well we made it. We survived the school year, the holidays, the days that were a bit like the song that never ends called January through March. And now, it's SUMMER! It's the time we all live for, right?
Sadly, we're only about 8 days in but I'm already on a rant. I have had a kid beating on my front door so many times that I finally answered it saying "Buddy, are you bored? Do you have NOTHING to do? And where is your mother? I need to meet her." Poor child looked like a deer in the headlights.
I mean, c'mon lady! It's not even 9:30 in the morning yet. I get it. You looked forward to your kids not having to go to school but you weren't completely prepared for them to be home ALL. DANG. DAY. Now, they're bored. They're needy. They're eating like a billion snacks a day and you've heard "MOM!" so many times, you're fantasizing about beach towels, ocean waves and mai tais and it's only 9 AM; totally get it. But this is also not the time to kick your kid out of the house and forget about them for the day.
Please don't misunderstand as this is, in no way, one of those "judgy, I'm the best mom ever and you suck" posts but this is kind of one of those "DUH!" situations. Trust me, I'm the last one to be judging another mama. Men do so little to be called a great dad but ladies, let me tell you- women do so LITTLE to be called a shitty mom and I get that too. Solidarity, sister.
But, let me also say, when you kick your kid out at 9 AM and they're free to run as they please because they're 8 and "they have their phone" (call me old-fashioned but there's already so much wrong with that sentence). They end up at my house. Normally, I'm cool with all the kids being at my house because in that instance, at least I know they're safe and more specifically, I know what my kid is doing. Unfortunately, we live in a world where parents are real quick to jump to conclusions and you're guilty until proven innocent irregardless of what the system says.
So, the problem with your kid coming to my house is two-fold. 1) I don't know you. You don't know me. In covering my own butt, your kid isn't coming into my house no matter how many times he wants to see my kid's games, movies, etc., use the bathroom, get a snack or eat lunch with us. 2) Apparently manners don't exist anymore. In what world is it ok for your kid to invite themselves into someone else's house? Invite themselves in to each lunch with your family? "I'm sorry little man but do you have food allergies? Are you on a certain diet for some unbeknownst-to-me lifestyle or disease? Is your mother ok with you eating just anywhere? Haven't you been taught not to beat on someone's door no more than twice in a day to see if they're home? No less than 18 times a day is a little excessive and has now labeled you as "that" kid. "That" kid in which I want to give about 26 life lessons to and you're not even MINE!"
Am I crazy here? I have never thought of myself as a helicopter parent before but I'm definitely not one of those that just lets my kid run and go wherever either. He spends the majority of his day outside, at the pool (with me reading a book nearby and still supervising) or in the yard with the understanding that if he leaves the area where I can no longer see him, he's got about .87 seconds to get back to where I can before I'm calling a search party; and I have and it I doubt he'll ever do it again.
Even in a small town, bad things happen. I don't need to reiterate the nightly news here folks but shit happens! Children are abducted, sexually molested...most often by people they know, or they fall and break an arm, a leg or in my child's case obtain some one in a million injury having to do with the cranial region. Why is this rocket science? It doesn't always need to be you supervising, remember that whole "it takes a village"? Find other like-minded mamas (your "tribe") and trade off, but for the love of God, small elementary aged kids need to be paid attention to and I don't have the time to be the one-woman neighborhood watch.
As I'm re-reading this, I realize I sound like I'm about 80 years old but you know, I'm ok with that. I'm ok with having the "Old-fashioned" mindset and I'm ok with the trolls that are reading this judging the hell out of me or even commenting negatively. If you're one of them, please continue to do you. I'm confident enough in my "old-fashioned mothering ways" that I'm not bothered by it and I'm going to continue to do me as well. I'm also ok in knowing as an educator and a former single-mom, I'm going to do my due diligence to make sure that my child will not be an addition to this world's problem. It starts with us, mamas. Shaping these kid's character into positive, strong-minded, morally sound individuals starts at home and while summer may be an academic break, it's not a break from our most important job as their parents.
Now that my rant is over, I'm takin' my Yeti cup that may or may not be filled with wine, my new book that has nothing to do with parenting or uppity things and my kid and we're going to the pool...where I can still do me AND supervise him at the same time because, you know, I can be the cool mom too.
I mean, c'mon lady! It's not even 9:30 in the morning yet. I get it. You looked forward to your kids not having to go to school but you weren't completely prepared for them to be home ALL. DANG. DAY. Now, they're bored. They're needy. They're eating like a billion snacks a day and you've heard "MOM!" so many times, you're fantasizing about beach towels, ocean waves and mai tais and it's only 9 AM; totally get it. But this is also not the time to kick your kid out of the house and forget about them for the day.
Please don't misunderstand as this is, in no way, one of those "judgy, I'm the best mom ever and you suck" posts but this is kind of one of those "DUH!" situations. Trust me, I'm the last one to be judging another mama. Men do so little to be called a great dad but ladies, let me tell you- women do so LITTLE to be called a shitty mom and I get that too. Solidarity, sister.
But, let me also say, when you kick your kid out at 9 AM and they're free to run as they please because they're 8 and "they have their phone" (call me old-fashioned but there's already so much wrong with that sentence). They end up at my house. Normally, I'm cool with all the kids being at my house because in that instance, at least I know they're safe and more specifically, I know what my kid is doing. Unfortunately, we live in a world where parents are real quick to jump to conclusions and you're guilty until proven innocent irregardless of what the system says.
So, the problem with your kid coming to my house is two-fold. 1) I don't know you. You don't know me. In covering my own butt, your kid isn't coming into my house no matter how many times he wants to see my kid's games, movies, etc., use the bathroom, get a snack or eat lunch with us. 2) Apparently manners don't exist anymore. In what world is it ok for your kid to invite themselves into someone else's house? Invite themselves in to each lunch with your family? "I'm sorry little man but do you have food allergies? Are you on a certain diet for some unbeknownst-to-me lifestyle or disease? Is your mother ok with you eating just anywhere? Haven't you been taught not to beat on someone's door no more than twice in a day to see if they're home? No less than 18 times a day is a little excessive and has now labeled you as "that" kid. "That" kid in which I want to give about 26 life lessons to and you're not even MINE!"
Am I crazy here? I have never thought of myself as a helicopter parent before but I'm definitely not one of those that just lets my kid run and go wherever either. He spends the majority of his day outside, at the pool (with me reading a book nearby and still supervising) or in the yard with the understanding that if he leaves the area where I can no longer see him, he's got about .87 seconds to get back to where I can before I'm calling a search party; and I have and it I doubt he'll ever do it again.
Even in a small town, bad things happen. I don't need to reiterate the nightly news here folks but shit happens! Children are abducted, sexually molested...most often by people they know, or they fall and break an arm, a leg or in my child's case obtain some one in a million injury having to do with the cranial region. Why is this rocket science? It doesn't always need to be you supervising, remember that whole "it takes a village"? Find other like-minded mamas (your "tribe") and trade off, but for the love of God, small elementary aged kids need to be paid attention to and I don't have the time to be the one-woman neighborhood watch.
As I'm re-reading this, I realize I sound like I'm about 80 years old but you know, I'm ok with that. I'm ok with having the "Old-fashioned" mindset and I'm ok with the trolls that are reading this judging the hell out of me or even commenting negatively. If you're one of them, please continue to do you. I'm confident enough in my "old-fashioned mothering ways" that I'm not bothered by it and I'm going to continue to do me as well. I'm also ok in knowing as an educator and a former single-mom, I'm going to do my due diligence to make sure that my child will not be an addition to this world's problem. It starts with us, mamas. Shaping these kid's character into positive, strong-minded, morally sound individuals starts at home and while summer may be an academic break, it's not a break from our most important job as their parents.
Now that my rant is over, I'm takin' my Yeti cup that may or may not be filled with wine, my new book that has nothing to do with parenting or uppity things and my kid and we're going to the pool...where I can still do me AND supervise him at the same time because, you know, I can be the cool mom too.
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