So as you may or may not have noticed, I've been on a little bit of a hiatus these past couple weeks. Not because I wanted to be but because this minor detail called life got in the way.
When "A" went back to Egypt, assuring me that it would only be a month because well, he's "done this a couple times before", what started out as a routine chat with the consulate ended in being told that he's had enough education and needed to "just get a job". A couple problems with this: 1) Egypt is not like America and we as Americans might want to take note here. If two people walk into a job interview and person 1 is Egyptian, homeless, uneducated and looks like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip because he hasn't bathed in a month; person 2 is well dressed, educated, in a suit and tie, and incredibly well-spoken. Who gets the job? Person 2, OF COURSE! Wrong. Person 1 gets the job. "Dearest Kam, you must be high!" That the thought that went through your head? Sorry, friend. I am not. Person 1 gets the job because in the description, it says that they are EGYPTIAN. Person 2 didn't specify because person 2 was from any other country in the world. It doesn't matter that they are educated, sharp and qualified for the job. They aren't a native. Egypt takes care of their own first and foremost. I'm not saying America should take note in that we should just hire any rando that comes in off the streets, but it would be nice if we could employ Veterans or other qualified Americans or those in the process of becoming a legal citizen before considering those who are illegally here and "will work for cheap".
Now, "A" was born in Egypt but again, unlike America, being born in that country doesn't make him an automatic citizen. His parents are Yemeni and therefore, he is Yemeni. His parents now live in Egypt because his Dad works logistics for the Yemeni airlines that has a hub in Cairo. Not being an Egyptian citizen and not being able to go back to his "own" country with no airport because it's a literal war zone makes it a little difficult to "just get a job". And here's the beginning of a great adventure that would showcase what a strong, independent, American woman looks and sounds like. We work hard for what we want and we don't take no for an answer.
"A" applied twice for the student visa and he was refused twice based on their decision that he'd had enough education. Is that even a thing?! At this point, our relationship was too new to decide where we wanted to go or what we wanted to do about it so we stayed together and decided that it was a great time for me to travel to Egypt, fulfill some major bucket list items, meet his family and see him. (Another post for another time) A week before I left, he told me he loved me and asked if I wanted to marry him while I was there. Screeeeeeeeeeeee.
When "A" went back to Egypt, assuring me that it would only be a month because well, he's "done this a couple times before", what started out as a routine chat with the consulate ended in being told that he's had enough education and needed to "just get a job". A couple problems with this: 1) Egypt is not like America and we as Americans might want to take note here. If two people walk into a job interview and person 1 is Egyptian, homeless, uneducated and looks like Pigpen from the Peanuts comic strip because he hasn't bathed in a month; person 2 is well dressed, educated, in a suit and tie, and incredibly well-spoken. Who gets the job? Person 2, OF COURSE! Wrong. Person 1 gets the job. "Dearest Kam, you must be high!" That the thought that went through your head? Sorry, friend. I am not. Person 1 gets the job because in the description, it says that they are EGYPTIAN. Person 2 didn't specify because person 2 was from any other country in the world. It doesn't matter that they are educated, sharp and qualified for the job. They aren't a native. Egypt takes care of their own first and foremost. I'm not saying America should take note in that we should just hire any rando that comes in off the streets, but it would be nice if we could employ Veterans or other qualified Americans or those in the process of becoming a legal citizen before considering those who are illegally here and "will work for cheap".
Now, "A" was born in Egypt but again, unlike America, being born in that country doesn't make him an automatic citizen. His parents are Yemeni and therefore, he is Yemeni. His parents now live in Egypt because his Dad works logistics for the Yemeni airlines that has a hub in Cairo. Not being an Egyptian citizen and not being able to go back to his "own" country with no airport because it's a literal war zone makes it a little difficult to "just get a job". And here's the beginning of a great adventure that would showcase what a strong, independent, American woman looks and sounds like. We work hard for what we want and we don't take no for an answer.
"A" applied twice for the student visa and he was refused twice based on their decision that he'd had enough education. Is that even a thing?! At this point, our relationship was too new to decide where we wanted to go or what we wanted to do about it so we stayed together and decided that it was a great time for me to travel to Egypt, fulfill some major bucket list items, meet his family and see him. (Another post for another time) A week before I left, he told me he loved me and asked if I wanted to marry him while I was there. Screeeeeeeeeeeee.
Umm... no sir. Not marrying you, not after only knowing you 3 months. At this point, I was quite possibly NEVER getting married again. I'd been married before, had a child, was on my own and doing just fine, thank you very much. I did NOT need a man to complete me. This trip was a birthday present to myself, a vacation. Hell! It was a BREATH that I never got to take as a single mother of a 5 year old boy! I was taking that breath and I was going to love every second of that vacation, and I believe I may have even threatened to punch him in the face if he ever mentioned marriage again! Funny how that works...
That was in March. By July, I had gone to Egypt, met the fam, had the time of my life, come home, prayed harder than I ever had in my life and had been punched in my own face with the realization that this was it. This was what I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to be with. Remember that saying that goes something like "Nothing that ever came easy was worth it?" Well this is probably the most valuable thing on earth then cause it's been everything BUT easy.
I googled "immigration lawyers in Texas". What I found was a lawyer that had fake reviews and did NOTHING for our case except threaten to file a defamation of character suit against me if I didn't take my real review of her off google immediately. I was on my own and completely ignorant about the system and how it all works. She provided the paperwork. I provided the pain in the ass the Egyptian consulate needed to get the job done. I have a real knack for being a pain in the ass.
The process starts in America- USCIS- United States Citizenship and Immigration Services. AKA- Homeland Security. The paperwork to start this process includes bank records for the last year, fingerprints, applications galore, letters from employers, affidavits and more signatures than buying a house, a car and taking a child home from the hospital all rolled into one. USCIS and the FBI work together to do background checks on both parties, runs both through every system they have and reviews every piece of paper in the file. 4-6 months later, that goes to NVC in NH. (National Visa Center). They review what USCIS has and they do their own checks on both parties. 1-2 months later, it goes to the embassy of the home country of the party applying for the visa. In this case, Egypt. Normally this wouldn't be a bad thing and there would be a time limit for this as well. Unfortunately for us and true to the way life usually throws me a right hook to the jaw every few months, Egypt is the only country in the entire world that has no time limits on anything. If they want to take 4 years to review your file and issue the visa, they will. (One guy we know took 10 yrs to complete his case.) If they want to take 3 days to review it, that can happen too. They run on their own speed and it's usually reverse. "A" had an interview with a consular in March of 2016, handed her pictures, the necessary documents, texts between us and texts between him and my mother showing that our families knew about us and communicated. A total of 600 pages of proof that we were a legitimate couple. She called him 2 days later to tell him he'd been accepted. Our case went into administrative processing (more background checks) 3 days after that.
Our "lawyer" told us that the process after the embassy got our case should take about 6 months. At the 6 month mark, being a control freak slightly Type A personality, I contacted our lawyer to find out when I should start preparing for "A"'s homecoming. She was zero help. So, I called the Customer support line that's attached to the embassy. The CS line is located in D.C. so one would think that they'd be able to speak English and be helpful. Doesn't seem like too much to ask but apparently, I was asking them to gather information on the most Top secret of security matters and deliver it to me in a sealed envelope under a landmark that hasn't even been invented yet. They never had the information I needed. Every 3 days for 5 months, I called this support line. And every time I got someone that actually spoke half way decent English, I interrogated them like they were a criminal. Eventually, I was able to put all the answers together, dig through and figure out what was truth and what was an empathetic push off, and get the information I needed to get "A" home.
Little known fact: you can find anything on the internet if you dig hard enough. Also little known fact: every American embassy in a foreign country has an email address that isn't given to the public but if you find it, and utilize it with importance, you will get answers. There are email addresses that each embassy has that are open to the general public as well. But after I emailed those starting on a weekly basis and got the generic "We're sorry but we have no specific information on your case at this time" answer back- my frustration went to Leanne Touhey mode in The Blind Side. "When I look around all I see is people shootin the bull and drinkin coffee. Who runs this place?! Well I'd have it in shape in 2 days. I'll tell you that." No lie. They changed the email address for the general public use 3 times in 6 months. Hashtag sorry not sorry.
I started emailing the direct email for American citizens and CCing whatever general public email was current at the time every coupld of weeks. This was probably about August of 2016. I'd had it. We'd been through this process of a year and a half. That's a year and a half of holidays, birthdays, special events and happiness that was supposed to be spent together, spent apart. Over it doesn't even begin to describe the irritation.
"A"'s family travels every summer, he missed the family vacation to Istanbul because the embassy wouldn't get his passport back in time to go. He requested it 3 times and they finally sent it...a month after his family returned from vacation. Answers were late, people made answers to questions up because Egyptians literally will NOT tell you "I don't know." It's a pride thing. If they make something up, true or not, the pride stays in tact. If they tell you "I don't know" they look like an idiot.
The process from here, after all the vetting is complete, includes the embassy sending the passport by Aramex (Fedex). It's a safety issue to have people come to the embassy to pick it up so they send it by carrier. At this point, I'd sent so many emails that I was getting a response almost immediately and the process was moving. The emails had a short but noticeable irritation to them, but I didn't care. I was getting what I wanted and we were moving. At the beginning of November, we were at a stand still again. I hadn't heard from the embassy in a couple weeks, nobody would respond and we had been told that "A" had been accepted but still didn't have his passport (typically only takes 3 days but this had been weeks).
The last email I sent went a little something like this: "Dear Consulate, My fiance's visa was approved over a week ago and yet he still has not received his passport. This process takes exactly 1 day to complete from your office. I have called Aramex, they don't have it. Throughout this entire process, I have had to contact you through every step to make sure the job has gotten done timely and efficiently. There is absolutley no reason the passport should still be in your hands. Please send the passport to Aramex immediately so I do not have to contact you again." I forwarded the email to "A". His response: "Ah shit, Kam! They're going to refuse me!" My response: "Nah. They're going to send it and be thankful they don't ever have to hear from me again, but wonder why you even want to come back in the first place."
12 hours later "A" got a phone call telling him to "just come get the passport".
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