For about two years now, I've been in a process that have had so many questions by my friends and family. I have learned so much about the immigration process, I figured I'd just start blogging about it and answer all the questions for everyone! It's also a great creative outlet that helps me keep everyone informed and you all don't feel like I've "fallen off the face of the earth" anymore. Win-Win! Let's start at the beginning, because that's usually where stories start.
Through mutual friends that I met living in the same apartment complex, I met a guy, originally from Yemen (props if you've ever heard of that. 10 more points if you know where it's at on a map) but who's family moved to Egypt just short of 10 years ago.
The night I met this man, we'll call him "A" for short, he may or may not have been full of liquid courage and I may or may not have been my charming, sarcastic, bad@ss of a self. Ahh! Match.com couldn't have done any better on this one. Moe was persistent, affectionate from the get go and told me I was beautiful. You're thinking, "he sounds amazing!" I was thinking "this guy is full of more sh*t than a feedyard!" I also may or may not have threatened to lay him out in the parking lot if he tried to touch me again. Naturally, he would ask me for my phone number a little later on because, let's be honest, who wouldn't ask for a lady's phone number with this kind of contagiously delightful personality? Naturally, I told him no and naturally, he would steal it from our mutual friend's phone while said friend was in the shower the next day.
For a week straight, "A" texted me every day asking me out, telling me I was so much fun the night we all went out (Surgeon General's warning; large amounts of alcohol will completely alter realistic events in the short and long term memory). And for a week straight, I made up excuses to not go out with him such as, no lie, "I'm reorganizing my Tupperware this evening". This works perfect on someone that has English as a second language because they have NO IDEA what Tupperware is. I'm not saying that was planned but Dang! It sure did work out in my favor at the time.
Finally, after 6 straight days of texts, I had run out of BS excuses. I realize if you know me this is a shock. I agreed to go out with him but I was not going to go by myself, he would need to bring our friend Rasheed with him and I was also not going to a private place. We were going to somewhere public. Now ladies, take note here. I was just being smart with common sense here and looking back, my plan had PHEN-O-MEN-AL intentions. However, it could've been thought out a little more. When the mutual friend that joins the date is also a dude, and friends with the guy you're going on the date with, he WILL "accidentally get lost" once you get to the agreed upon location. Know the bro-code ladies because I'm going to level with you here, the bro-code needs to be taught to us right along side the ABC's. It's that important.
"A" organized a lovely date, I will give him that. We walked around a place called Vitruvian Park. Beautiful park that has every tree decorated in a different colored lights between Nov 26 and Jan 2 each year. Several acres of walking trail, open, public, lots of people and little ladies walking their dogs, a small river running through it. Everything you're picturing.
The date ended in lovely 1950's style with Rasheed magically being found, a perfect kiss and deciding that maybe his texting me wasn't so annoying after all. Oh yeah! You read that right. You absolutely CAN have a first date without sleeping with each other! Shocking this day and age but TOTALLY possible friends! For the rest of the weekend, we saw each other as much as possible without me looking like a 5th stage clinger. I mean, I legit still needed to get my hair done. A lady's gotta maintain that gorgeous appearance. *insert eye roll here* However, because lady luck hates me and my dripping sarcasm, I ended up helping him pack his bags to leave for Egypt 3 days later to renew his visa.
This was a process, he assured me would only take a month, 4 weeks, tops. Note to self: This will up equating to a couple lessons that will later on in life be great blog posts to share with the world called "Arabian Time" and also "God's Plans are not YOUR plans". He assured me we would see where things went and would text through apps like Whatsapp, and Viber (no this is not a sex toy regardless of what it sounds like). This part actually did happen but there would be less video chatting than originally promised because well, 3rd world country. Egypt is one of the oldest civilizations in history but in terms of progression with, well, anything really, still stuck in about 1940 with most of life. The internet is slower than a sloth escaping a hungry leopard. This will also be a lesson I will discuss later on #1stWorldProblems.
102 weeks later (ONLY 98 weeks later than he assured me), he would come home and because there is just wayyyyy too much content that would be thrown at me on the daily, this blog, an etsy shop and a love for TX whiskey would be born.
Look for the next blog post on those 102 weeks and why the Egyptian Consulate believes that I am the Wicked Witch of the West and I do, indeed own unleashed, flying monkeys.
Through mutual friends that I met living in the same apartment complex, I met a guy, originally from Yemen (props if you've ever heard of that. 10 more points if you know where it's at on a map) but who's family moved to Egypt just short of 10 years ago.
The night I met this man, we'll call him "A" for short, he may or may not have been full of liquid courage and I may or may not have been my charming, sarcastic, bad@ss of a self. Ahh! Match.com couldn't have done any better on this one. Moe was persistent, affectionate from the get go and told me I was beautiful. You're thinking, "he sounds amazing!" I was thinking "this guy is full of more sh*t than a feedyard!" I also may or may not have threatened to lay him out in the parking lot if he tried to touch me again. Naturally, he would ask me for my phone number a little later on because, let's be honest, who wouldn't ask for a lady's phone number with this kind of contagiously delightful personality? Naturally, I told him no and naturally, he would steal it from our mutual friend's phone while said friend was in the shower the next day.
For a week straight, "A" texted me every day asking me out, telling me I was so much fun the night we all went out (Surgeon General's warning; large amounts of alcohol will completely alter realistic events in the short and long term memory). And for a week straight, I made up excuses to not go out with him such as, no lie, "I'm reorganizing my Tupperware this evening". This works perfect on someone that has English as a second language because they have NO IDEA what Tupperware is. I'm not saying that was planned but Dang! It sure did work out in my favor at the time.
Finally, after 6 straight days of texts, I had run out of BS excuses. I realize if you know me this is a shock. I agreed to go out with him but I was not going to go by myself, he would need to bring our friend Rasheed with him and I was also not going to a private place. We were going to somewhere public. Now ladies, take note here. I was just being smart with common sense here and looking back, my plan had PHEN-O-MEN-AL intentions. However, it could've been thought out a little more. When the mutual friend that joins the date is also a dude, and friends with the guy you're going on the date with, he WILL "accidentally get lost" once you get to the agreed upon location. Know the bro-code ladies because I'm going to level with you here, the bro-code needs to be taught to us right along side the ABC's. It's that important.
"A" organized a lovely date, I will give him that. We walked around a place called Vitruvian Park. Beautiful park that has every tree decorated in a different colored lights between Nov 26 and Jan 2 each year. Several acres of walking trail, open, public, lots of people and little ladies walking their dogs, a small river running through it. Everything you're picturing.
We walked around for 3 hours talking, playing 110 questions that you play on any normal 1st date of "let's get to know one another and decide if you're just hot but completely stupid or if I may want to annoy you for the rest of my life". I will admit...my skepticism was lowered a notch and I did decide after 3 hours that this guy wasn't the complete douche-canoe I had previously decided he was. He was completely hot, but not stupid! Who knew that was an option?! He came from a big family, was a world traveler, knew several languages, a pilot (gotta love a man in uniform), and was (guys, take note here cause this is BIG) genuinely interested in me, my life, where I came from, what I wanted to do with life AND...wait for it.....WASN'T JUST TRYING TO GET LAID!!!! (so important! Maybe my favorite attribute in fact and more appreciated, still to this day, than him doing the dishes...well...ok they're equal).
The date ended in lovely 1950's style with Rasheed magically being found, a perfect kiss and deciding that maybe his texting me wasn't so annoying after all. Oh yeah! You read that right. You absolutely CAN have a first date without sleeping with each other! Shocking this day and age but TOTALLY possible friends! For the rest of the weekend, we saw each other as much as possible without me looking like a 5th stage clinger. I mean, I legit still needed to get my hair done. A lady's gotta maintain that gorgeous appearance. *insert eye roll here* However, because lady luck hates me and my dripping sarcasm, I ended up helping him pack his bags to leave for Egypt 3 days later to renew his visa.
This was a process, he assured me would only take a month, 4 weeks, tops. Note to self: This will up equating to a couple lessons that will later on in life be great blog posts to share with the world called "Arabian Time" and also "God's Plans are not YOUR plans". He assured me we would see where things went and would text through apps like Whatsapp, and Viber (no this is not a sex toy regardless of what it sounds like). This part actually did happen but there would be less video chatting than originally promised because well, 3rd world country. Egypt is one of the oldest civilizations in history but in terms of progression with, well, anything really, still stuck in about 1940 with most of life. The internet is slower than a sloth escaping a hungry leopard. This will also be a lesson I will discuss later on #1stWorldProblems.
102 weeks later (ONLY 98 weeks later than he assured me), he would come home and because there is just wayyyyy too much content that would be thrown at me on the daily, this blog, an etsy shop and a love for TX whiskey would be born.
Look for the next blog post on those 102 weeks and why the Egyptian Consulate believes that I am the Wicked Witch of the West and I do, indeed own unleashed, flying monkeys.
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